Dear British,

although the country I come from is called Austria, my mothertongue is not Austrian, it's German, believe it or not. Of course you make some Austrians very happy, if you tell them, that Austrian is a own language, but this is not true.
And no, Austria is not "something like Switzerland" or would you like to hear, that "Great Britain is something like Ireland"?
Yes. There are many mountains in this country, but I promise you, nevertheless, there is enough space for more than 1 million people and in fact, they are not all living in Vienna and Salzburg.
Salzburg, by the way, is not the second largest town in Austria and "this guy who did nice music" and has actually birthday today, is not spelled Muzzard. And no, there is no monarchy in Austria anymore, but you're right, we had something to do with it, some years ago.
No. Vienna is not northern to London and if I say, that Austria is more or less there, were you expect the middle of Europe is and you answer "Really? I thought there is England." and I laugh, everything is ok, excepting your Geography lessons at school.

PS: What you want me to believe is bread, has nothing to do with real bread, which you can eat without toasting it before. And honestly, I would really like to know, if a baker training takes longer than two hours. If so, you should think about the breadstuff, if not - think about it even more. I beg you. Thanks.